2010 Holiday List ( Holidays & observations for 2010)

Holidays and Observances:

1 Jan New Year's Day 5 Jan Guru Govind Singh Jayanti 14 Jan Pongal 20 Jan Vasant Panchami 26 Jan Republic Day 8 Feb Maharishi Dayanand Sarawati Jayanti 12 Feb Maha Shivaratri/Shivaratri 14 Feb Chinese New Year 14 Feb Valentine's Day 19 Feb Shivaji Jayanti 27 Feb Milad un-Nabi 1 Mar Holi 16 Mar Chaitra Sukhladi 24 Mar Rama Navami 30 Mar First day of Passover 1 Apr Maundy Thursday 2 Apr Good Friday 4 Apr Easter Day 14 Apr Vaisakhi 28 Apr Mahavir Jayanti/Id-E-Milad 1 May May Day 9 May Birthday of Ravindranath 9 May Mother's Day 27 May Buddha Purnima/Vesak 20 Jun Father's Day 26 Jun Hazarat Ali's Birthday 13 Jul Rath Yatra 1 Aug Friendship Day     15 Aug Thanksgiving Day 15 Aug Independence Day 19 Aug Parsi New Year 23 Aug Onam 24 Aug Raksha Bandhan 2 Sep Janmashtami 10 Sep Jamat Ul-Vida 11 Sep Ganesh Chaturthi/Vinayaka Chaturthi 11 Sep Ramzan Id/Eid-ul-Fitar 2 Oct Mahatma Gandhi Jayanti 14 Oct Maha Saptami 15 Oct Maha Ashtami 17 Oct Dussehra/Dasara 22 Oct Maharishi Valmiki Jayanti 31 Oct Halloween 5 Nov Diwali/Deepavali 6 Nov Govardhan Puja 7 Nov Bhai Duj 17 Nov Bakri Id/Eid ul-Adha 21 Nov Guru Nanak Jayanti 24 Nov Guru Tegh Bahadur's Martyrdom Day 2 Dec First Day of Chanukah 9 Dec Last day of Chanukah 17 Dec Muharram 24 Dec Christmas Eve 25 Dec Christmas 31 Dec New Year's Eve

Sindhi Joke

An Arab was admitted in Hospital for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case the need arose. As he had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally and the call went out to a number of countries. A Sindhi had a similar type of blood. The Sindhi willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent the Sindhi as appreciation a new Toyota Prado, diamonds, jewellery, and a million US dollars.

Once again the Arab had to go through corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Sindhi who was more than happy to donate his blood again. After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Sindhi a thank you card and a jar of Almond halwa sweets. The Sindhi was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Sindhi's kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him that this time also I thought that you would give me expensive gifts ..... But you only sent a thank you card and a jar Almond sweets. On this the Arab replied 'Sai.....now I have Sindhi blood in my veins'

MONKEY IN THE PLANE

Once in Brazil a plane crashed, only a monkey who was  traveling in the plane was left alive. Fortunately the monkey was intelligent  enough to understand our language and reply in actions.
The officials went to  see the monkey in the hospital and had a talk with the  monkey.

Officer: "When the plane took off what were the travelers  doing?"
Monkey: "Tying their belts"
Officer: "What were the air hostesses  doing?"
Monkey: "Saying Hello! Good morning!"
Officer: "What were the  pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Checking the system"
Officer: "What were you  doing?"
Monkey: "Looking for my people"

Officer: "After 10' minutes  what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Having beverages and  snacks"
Officer: "What were the air hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Serving the  travelers"
Officer: "What were the Pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the  steering"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Eating &  throwing"

Officer: "After 30 minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Some were sleeping and some were reading"
Officer: "What were  the air hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Make up"
Officer: "What were the pilots  doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"
Officer: "What were you  doing?"
Monkey: "Nothing"

Officer: "Just before plane crash what were  the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "All were sleeping"
Officer: "What were the  pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the air hostess"
Officer: What were you  doing?
Monkey: Handling the steering!!!! !

No  more Questions!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!

Nice Thoughts

 

 

One Moment

The moment you are in TENSION
You will lose your ATTENTION
Then you are in total CONFUSION
And you will feel IRRITATION
Then you will spoil personal RELATION
Ultimately,you won’t get C0-OPERATION
Then you will make things COMPLICATION
Then your blood pressuring raise CAUTION
And you may have to take MEDICATION
Instead,understand the SITUATION
And try to think about the SOLUTION
Many problems will be solved by DISCUSSION
This will work out better in your PROFESSION
Don’t think it’s my free SUGGESTION
It’s only for your PREVENTION
If you understand my INTENTION
You will never come again to TENSION

A Mr Bean Christmas

Mr. Bean (Rowan Atkinson) gets his hands on a nativity scene during Christmas.
The goofy yet silent screw ball then starts to act out the scene based on his version of history. Probably based more on the other toys available to his reach.
We never knew that a T-Rex was part of Christ’s birth but you never really know. It might have happened this way. Luckily the tanks were there to fend off the dinosaurs.

Virginity Check

A young man was  planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if  his bride is a virgin.

The doctor  said, 'Well, you need three things. A can of red paint, a  can of blue paint and a shovel..'

The man was  astonished and asked, 'So what do I do with these?'

The doc  replied, 'Before the wedding night, you paint your one ball red and the other ball blue.   If she says, 'That's the strangest pair of balls I ever saw', you hit her head with the shovel.'

Friends Reunited

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a
party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who
remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a
successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and
Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and
now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave
his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and
joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to
become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he
owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best
friend a brand new jet for his birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best
universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own
construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away
something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A
30,000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned
from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?" One of
the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the
successes of our sons. ...What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a
stripper at a nightclub." The three friends said: "What a shame... what
a disappointment." The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my
son and I love him. And he hasn't done too badly either. His birthday
was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot
mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three
boyfriends."

Reason, Season, Lifetime.... :)

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring
the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season .

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime

What does your zodiac sign say about your kisses !!!

Aries: Your kisses are quick and passionate fits of lustful
pleasure that are there and then gone.

Taurus: Your kisses linger; they are deliberate, heartfelt
and they can go on and on and on?

Gemini: Your kisses are interrupted by spasms of giggles,
smiles and funny observations.

Cancer: Your kisses are warm and tender, and you never
want to let them go.

Leo: Your kisses are wild and uninhibited, biting and clawing;
you expect applause for your performance.

Virgo: Your kisses are so subtle and tidy, your lover only notices
them once you've finished.

Libra: You're too busy worrying about your breath to really get
into your kisses.

Scorpio: You skip the kiss and get to straight to ?
whatever comes next for you.

Sagittarius: Your kisses are surprising, spontaneous affairs
that leave the kissed wanting more.

Capricorn: Your kisses are intense moments of sublime relief
from the stress of your day.

Aquarius: Your kisses are wet and messy, and you tend to keep
your eyes open.

Pisces: Your kisses are starry-eyed, amorous and long-lasting.

Each one is awesome in some respect, n joy readin' it

The First Affair

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their
passions overcame them and they took off for her house,where they made
passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex they fell
asleep, awakening around 8:00 p.m.

As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes
outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she
nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.

"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my
secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and
didn't wake up until eight o'clock."

The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard!
You've been playing golf!".

The Second Affair

There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful
teenage daughters. The couple decided to try one last time for the son they
always wanted.

After months of trying, the wife finally got pregnant and sure enough,
delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later. The joyful father
rushed into the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was
horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He went to his wife and
told her there was no way he could be the father of that child.

"Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!" Then he gave her a
stern look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?"

The wife just smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time!"

The Third Affair

A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the
dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he
examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he
noticed the size of his manhood. "I'm sorry, Mr. Schwartz", said the
mortician, "but I can't send you off to be cremated with a
tremendously huge private part like this. It has to be saved for posterity."

With that, the mortician used his tools to remove the dead man's
private bit. He stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home.

The first person he showed it to was his wife. "I have something to
show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened up his briefcase.

"Oh my God!" the wife screamed, "Schwartz is dead!"

The Fourth Affair

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening
the front door.

"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner." Then she quickly rubbed baby
oil all over him and then dusted him with talcum powder.

"Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're
a statue."

"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh, it's a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one
fortheir bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too."

No more was said about the statue, not even later when they went to
sleep.

Around two in the morning, the husband got out of bed, went to the
kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of
milk.

"Here," he said to the statue, "Eat something. I stood like an idiot
at the Smiths for three days and nobody offered me as much as a glass of
water."

The Fifth Affair

A man walks into a nightclub one night. He goes up to the bar and asks
for a beer. "Certainly, Sir, that'll be 1 cent."

"One Cent?", exclaimed the man. The bartender replied,

"Yes."

So the man glances over at the menu and asks, "Could I have a nice
juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas and a fried egg?"

"Certainly Sir," replies the barman, "But that comes to real money. A
whole 4 cents."

"Four Cents?", exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this
place?"

The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."

The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

The bartender replied, "The same thing as I'm doing to his business."

The Sixth Affair

Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil
by
his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face.

Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lip
began to move slightly.

"Becky my darling," he whispered. "Hush my love," she said.

"Rest, don't talk." He was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired
voice, I have something that I must confess."

"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Becky,

"Everything's all right, go to sleep."

"No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I .... I slept with your sister,
your best friend, her best friend and even your mother!"

"I know, my sweet one" whispered Becky, "That's why I poisoned you...

Do Lines Ki Shayaris... shaee hai.....

Tumko dekha to yeh khayaal aaya
Ki kal raat ko maine itna kyon khaaya

Tu mere dil mein aise samaayi hai
Jaise baajre ke khet mein bhains ghus aayi hai

Teri zulfein hain ya ghana andhera
Katwa de baal, aur kar de savera

Juice peene ka maza cup mein nahin, glass mein hota hai
Greeting card dene ka maza gharwali ko nahin, saali ko hota hai

Wo ladai hi kya jis mein do chaar gaaliyan na ho
Aur woh sasuraal hi kya jahan do chaar saaliyan na ho

Majnu Laila ke baal pakad ke bola
Moya kitne din se sar nahin dhoya

Jaayiye aap kahan jaayenge
Hum khud aapko chhod aayenge

Khush rahe tu sada yeh dua hai meri
Teri premika hi ban jaaye bhabhi teri

Hum aapke dil mein rahate hai
Aur bhaada bhi nahin dete hai

Draupadi ka vastraharan Dushasan ko pada bhari
Saari mein saari Parag saari!

Zoron ki baarish Makes me wonder
Is this what they call, Taste the thunder?

It realllly is .....

Easy to get a place in someone's address book.
Difficult to get a place in someone's heart.

Easy to judge the mistakes of others
Difficult to recognize our own mistakes

Easy to talk without thinking
Difficult to refrain the tongue

Easy to hurt someone who loves us.
Difficult to heal the wound...

Easy to forgive others
Difficult to ask for forgiveness

Easy to set rules.
Difficult to follow them...

Easy to dream every night.!
Difficult to fight for a dream... ???

Easy to show victory.
Difficult to assume defeat with dignity...

Easy to admire a full moon.
Difficult to see the other side...

Easy to stumble with a stone.
Difficult to get up...!!!!

Easy to enjoy life every day.
Difficult to give its real value...!!!

Easy to promise something to someone.
Difficult to fulfill that promise... !?

Easy to say we love.
Difficult to show it every day... !!

Easy to criticize others.
Difficult to improve oneself... !

Easy to make mistakes.
Difficult to learn from them...

Easy to weep for a lost love.
Difficult to take care of it so not to lose it.!!?

Easy to think about improving.
Difficult to stop thinking it and put it into action...

Easy to think bad of others
Difficult to give them the benefit of the doubt...

Easy to receive Difficult to give
********************************
Easy to read this! Difficult to follow!

Beautiful SUCCESS!;)

At Age 4.... Success is..not peeing in your pants.

At Age 6.... Success is..finding your way home (from school)

At Age 12.... Success is..having friends

At Age 18.... Success is..having a driver's license

At Age 20.....Success is..having sex

At Age 35.....Success is..having money

At Age 45.....Success is..having money

At Age 55.....Success is..having money

At Age 60.....Success is..having sex

At Age 65.....Success is..keeping a driver's license

At Age 70.....Success is..having friends

At Age 75.....Success is..finding your way home (from anywhere)

At Age 80.....Success is..not peeing your pants

STORY OF OUR LIVES

I start my day by sitting on a chair,
giving my monitor a hard, cold stare,
by evening I m done with another coding,
Oh! this has become a routine so boring.
Like all, I entered this field with great hope,
jobs were many and there was plenty of scope,
dreams of joining the likes of Gates,
and a chance to make money in the states.
Thus, I entered the world of bytes,
only to realize that reality bites,
coz a programmer's life, isn't all that cozy,
the bed of software, isn't all that rosy.
seeing the monitor all day n night,
have taken the power of my eyesight,
late to bed n late to rise,
has made me wealthy, but not healthy n wise.
working holidays, busy weekends,
no time for family, no time for friends,
my job steals most of my time,
helplessly, I watch this crime.
just for few bits of money,
I forgot those moments with my honey,
when I should be out - having fun,
I m telling a comp, what's to be done.
I hate u, yet I cant get away,
coz, I need the money u pay,
god, to thee I pray,
if there be one - show me the way.
- Anonymous Programmer

Sayings

The brain is a wonderful organ.
It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
- Franklin P. Jones


We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?
- Jean Cocturan

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper.
- Jerry Seinfeld

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
- Darrin Weinberg

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome."

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

Forgive your enemies but remember their names.
It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop.
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

The Empty Soap Box

One of the most memorable case studies on Japanese management
was the case of the empty soap box, which happened in one of
Japan's biggest cosmetics companies.

The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a
soap box that was empty.
Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the assembly line,
which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department.
For some reason, one soap box went through the assembly line empty.
Management asked its engineers to solve the problem. Post-haste,
the engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution
monitors manned by two people to watch all the soap boxes that passed
through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked
hard and they worked fast but they spent whoopee amount to do so...

But when a rank-and-file employee in a small company was posed with the
same problem, did not get into complications of X-rays, etc but instead
came out with another solution. He bought a strong industrial electric fan
and pointed it at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each
soap box passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.

Moral of the story: KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid)
i.e. always look for simple solutions.
Devise the simplest possible solution that solves the problem :-)
So, learn to focus on solutions not on problems
"If you look at what you do not have in life, you don't have anything"
"If you look at what you have in life, you have everything"

Interesting facts.....

Coca-Cola was originally green.
The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row ! of the keyboard.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!
You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze,your heart stops for a millisecond.
It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.
Spades - King David
Clubs - Alexander the Great,
Hearts - Charlemagne
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Question - What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?
Ans. - All invented by women.

Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this?
Ans. - Honey

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
A snail can sleep for three years.
All polar bears are left handed.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.
Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.
Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Most lipstick contains fish scales.
Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different

Letter to GOD

Dear GOD,
In school they told us what You do.
Who does it when You are on vacation?
-Jane

Dear GOD,
Are you really invisible or is that just a trick?
-Lucy

Dear GOD,
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling
words in the house?
-Anita

Dear GOD,
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an
accident?
-Norma

Dear GOD,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones,
why don't You just keep the ones You have now?
-Jane

Dear GOD,
Who draws the lines around the countries?
-Nan

Dear GOD,
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that
okay?
-Neil

Dear GOD,
What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had
everything.
-Jane

Dear GOD,
Did you really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"?
Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother!
-Darla

Dear GOD,
Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a
puppy.
-Joyce

Dear GOD,
It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad!
He said some things about You that people are not supposed to
say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway. Your friend (But I
am not going to tell you who I am)


Dear GOD,
Why is Sunday school on Sunday?
I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest.
-Tom L.

Dear GOD,
Please send me a pony.
I never asked for anything before, You can look it up.
-Bruce

Dear GOD,
If You give me a genie lamp like Aladin, I will give you anything
you want except my money or my chess set.
-Raphael

Dear GOD,
My brother is a rat. You should give him a tail. Ha ha.
-Danny

Dear GOD,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had
their own rooms. It works with my brother.
-Larry

Dear GOD,
I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so
much hair all over.
-Sam

Dear GOD,
I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions.
-Ruth M.

Dear GOD,
I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the
whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can
never do it.
-Nan

Dear GOD,
If You watch me in church Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes.
-Mickey D.

Dear GOD,
I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible.
Love, Chris

Dear GOD,
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in school they said You
did it. So I bet he stoled your idea.
Sincerely, Donna

Dont Marry !!

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has,you wish you had ordered that.

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
"The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know,son,I'm still paying for it."

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.

A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.

When a newly married man looks happy we know why.But when a ten-year married man looks happy - we wonder why.

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know,I was a fool when I married you."
And the husband replied,"Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job,he still ends up with the same boss.

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted".
Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,you can be sure of one thing:
either the wife is new or the car.

A woman was telling her friend , "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him." Asked the friend. The woman replied, "A multimillionaire".

Marriage is love . Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.

It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage,it is love; after marriage it is self-defence.

There's was this lover who told his love that he would go through hell for her.
They got married - and now he is going through HELL !